UPDATE FOR 7/17/11

Ok, so...  We are finally moved in our new place!!  Woo Hoo!!  Now, if I could get rid of all the drama that involes the POS that we are buying it from, it would be all good!!  I can't wait to get that bastard paid off and out of my life!!!  See, we are allowing him to live on our property in a camper until he is paid off...  I am paying his fucking bills and I have to look at his little sardine can everytime I walk out my front door!!  He is a drunk, jobless piece of shit that needs to get the fuck up out of my life before I flip for real!!  I mean seriously, the drama that comes with this guy is unfucking real!!!  He grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth and threw a fit with his momma and daddy everytime something didn't go his way, oh and with his ex wife to, and he thinks he can do this with me to...  I go news for you budreau, I am not ya momma, not ya daddy, and sure nuff not ur wife!!  I don't deal well with fit throwing!!  My own husband doesnt throw lil fits with me because he knows I can throw a bigger one, that usually includes throwing objects, not just a fit....  I'm biting my tounge and trying to be nice, but its just really hard when you are supporting someone that dont give a shit about anything but himself.  I mean, this guy has 3 kids and does nothing at all for them because he wants to hurt his ex wife...  he drinks all day everyday, and gets so drunk that he cant remember knocking on my door at 330 in the am and waking me up when I had to be up for wrk at 530!!  UGH!!!  IDK, you know, I thought that once we got the trailer moved and got moved in and everything things would start looking up, but we have just piled more shit on top of us by moving him onto our property as well....  we were just trying to help him out but it is biting us in the ass!!!  IDK!!  BLAH!! 

Time... is not on my side!!

I have been so insanely busy lately.  Time has definitely not been on my side!!  Have you ever noticed that when you have nothing to do time just creeps by, but when your life is a whirlwind mess it just flies by and you never have enough time to get everything done & even what you have managed to get done does not seem like an accomplishment because you still have so much more left to do??  I'm so like this...  have been for months!!  I haven't had time for much of anything!!  All I do is work, eat, shit, and sleep!!  I'm so over this routine!!  I need some diversity in my life!!  I am not one to live a stagnant life, and this is really starting to get to me!!  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job, but it is time for a vacation.  I need to be able to just up and go...  throw caution to the wind, and take off somewhere!!  I hear the train going at night in the distance...  the sound of the wheels roaring across the track, and the whistle's long sweet sound is driving me mad because I am not as free as I once was, free to go as I please...  Free to pass through the night like that whistling train.  But, If you think about it...  The train is not really free, it is only able to go where the tracks take it...  I suppose that is the way I have ended up lately, bound by my endless schedule of work and sleep!!  I am nothing more than a sleepy train passing through this life...  It's time to break free from that!!  I need to jump the tracks and go on an adventure!!!  I think I am going to take off the week of my birthday!!  I am at work and I went ahead and put in the request as I have been typing this...  I asked for July 18th thru July 24th off, My b'day is July 22nd.  This is the 1st time I have been able to write in months as well!!  It's a nice comfortable Saturday at work...  The 1st in a long time!!  I wouldn't say it is slow by no means, I have been writing this off and on since 8:30 this morning, but it's not a bad day...  I have still found time for my self, to write, which is nice!!  Maybe an update??  What's new in my insane life??

Well, Aside from the working, eating, and sleeping that have led to a feeling of being stagnant I have a lot of exciting things going right now!!  I recently purchased a car...  My poor little saturn went crappola on me!!  I went almost 2 months without a way to go and I finally had the down payment for another car.  I got a Mitsubishi Spyder Convertible.  It is BRIGHT red, with a black convertible top.  Believe it or not, I can SMUSH all four kids into the back seat, haha!!  But, now my worst half's truck and car both are broke down, so whatever...  If we didn't have bad luck we wouldnt have any at all!!  He and I haven't been fighting as much lately.  He is actually showing a lil more appreciation for me and the things that I do for him..  Although, I haven't really been home so who knows...  when I am home, I sleep, lol!!  So, We are also in the middle of buying a new Home!!  It is something we can add on to, It will be nice when we are finished!!  Bad thing is:  The guy we are buying it from never cleaned so it was NASTY!!  We have gotten most of it clean though!!  We still have to paint it, the walls are horrindus!!  We also have to get it moved!!  It is soooo stressful!!  And aggrivating!!  And the whole situation makes me wanna cry!!  But, U know what??  It also makes me sooo very happy to know that we are going to be in our own place again!!  It has been soooo long!!  We haven't had our own place since 2007!!  I mean, we own land, but the house is in ruins because it is about 200 years old and only 500 square feet...  it didnt even have plumbing until 2000 when we moved in!!  So, since 2007...  well, really and truely 2005 we have been staying with friends and family or renting a place here and there!!  I'm so happy to have something of my own once again!!  I'll post pics once we get it moved and everything painted etc...  Hell, i might give you some before and after pics...  I should have took some before I we started cleaning it!! 

So I am thinking, Just Maybe, New Car, New house, New way of life!!  It would be so nice to actually have things go my way for a change!!  I know that there is always light after dark, but you know, It would be nice not to be on the dark side of things all the time..  always in dispare!!  Although, I am nocturnal, LMAO!!!  So, yea...  I'm gonna clear the energy out of this place once it is moved and cleaned and painted!!  They lived a bad attitude, drunk, fighting all the time life...  I don't want that energy to mix with ours and cause and explosion!!  We have enough problems as it is without the influences of the residual energy of others!!  So, I have white sage and my smudging shell...  purified water, etc...  I'm going to write a spell, goddess only knows how long this is going to take me, and I'm going to bless and purify our new home...  new home, new energy!!  I am very excited though!!  The kids are just as excited as we are!!  I'll update when I can!! 

Fed-up with FAT!!!

*****UPDATE 7/17/11*****  Yea, I'm gonna have to get back to ya on this 1, hahaha!!  I haven't had time to diet...  fast food is just that, FAST, and unfortunately not diet friendly!!!

So, I have been struggling with my weight since I had kids.  However, it didn't really bother me too bad...  wasn't skinny, but I grew to like the way I looked.  I was thick, and after a while that began to stick...  I've never been very self concious anyways...  I was in pageants for 16 years, so in my mind I looked good no matter what!!!  Well, Since I started this job in August, I have gained 40 freakin pounds..  and I'm 4 sizes bigger than I was..  I'm flippin fat!!!  And, I'm totally NOT comfortable with this!!!  The stress of work is taking its toll on me!!! 

Well, I'm fed up with this!!!  Nothing I own fits me anymore!!!!  My ass is getting so wide that its taking the length outta my work pants and I look like I'm fat &&&& waiting on a flood!!  I'm so over this shit!!!  I WILL LOOSE THIS!!!  I went and got me sum pills today, and I got a Just Dance game for the Wii...  I hate to exercisem but I love to dance so that will hopefully get me with the exercise part...  Maybe if I stick to that, I'll invest in a wii fit!!!  I am so pissed!!  This is COMING OFF!!!  One way or another it will come off!!! 

I'll keep you posted!!!  And, I know this isn't anything to do with my usual posts, but I had to vent!!!